It's no secret that I've had a hard time transitioning to life in Houston. Moving here was basically the perfect storm for Elizabeth to become depressed, angry, bitter, regretful and disillusioned. (And yes, I have given in to all of those states-of-being--sometimes all at once--at various stages over the past several months.) I had no job, no community outside of my dear husband, no school, no ministry, no...anything. I had no 'life plan,' no real direction for how to use the diversity that is my résumé and [almost] no hope. It is obvious to you, my dear readers, that I was totally lost in the world of "no."
But then--gratefulness of Grace!--I realized it had taken the stripping away of everything to get to the something of God's heart and mind. During this chiseling process, I went back to the Beginning and read Genesis. Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob, Rachel and Joseph all play significant roles in the unfolding drama of God's love affair with women and men--all in light of the yawning chasm created by sin.
I've heard many sermons preached about or referencing Joseph; most of them trumpet the 'forgiveness' scene at the end of the book: when Jacob dies and Joseph's brothers are afraid that Joseph will now feel free to kill them, Joseph reassures them by saying, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (50:20). The moral of the story/sermon is that God uses even evil situations to bring about good.
I agree with this completely; however, between Joseph's hardships in slavery and his grandiose pronouncement at the end of the book, I noticed something revolutionary that bridges the gap between living out a prison sentence and reigning over Egypt.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. (45:4-8)
Joseph was sent to slavery and prison; he was directed into the dungeon and into the palace. And he knew it. No matter where he was or what he was doing: Joseph lived sent.
Who am I--and who are you--to do otherwise?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Boasting, and Beauty
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a confession to start the new year. Essentially, it boiled down to my selfishly-held ambitions and the desire to be beautiful in front of other people with the results of those ambitions. This, instead of directing God-given ambition towards pointing people into the Way of the author of Beauty.
God continues to be gracious in providing me insight into that realization of sin, and the repentance that (hopefully) follows. At times, I have hesitated even to write at all because I fear myself. But I have come to realize that even this blog can be an agent of humility if I bind it to Him.
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As the journey continues, two different authors (St. Paul and George MacDonald) provide insight into the mystery of being less than God (a la my sin and confession, corruption of Beauty) and the mystery of being created in God's very image (reflecting Beauty unruined). Here, two quotes:
1) "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation." (St. Paul, Galatians 6:14-16)
2) "'How should a man care for [fame] who knows that he is on his way to join his peers, to be a child with the great ones of the earth, the lovers of the truth, the Doers of the Will? What to him will be the wind of the world he has left behind, a wind that can not arouse the dead, that can only blow about the grave-clothes of the dead as they bury their dead?'
'Tell me then what you write for?'
'...I write because I want to tell something that makes me glad and strong. I want to say it, and so try to say it. Things come to me in gleams and flashes, sometimes in words themselves, and I want to weave them into a melodious, harmonious whole....Creation is God's self-wrought freedom. No, ma'am I do not despise my fellows, but neither do I prize the judgment of more than a few of them. I prize and love themselves, but not their opinions.'"
(George MacDonald, The Elect Lady)
The mystery of salvation and the walk with and for God is this: to boast only in what He has done while reveling in the Beauty He has placed in each of us. Just as a lover crafts a poem for his beloved, intending it for her eyes only, He puts that Beauty in us. Not so we could hold it up and say, 'Look here, world! See what I have done!' but so that we could enjoy it--enjoy Him--and in that pure enjoyment, shine.
The only pride we have is that we are nothing, and He is everything; in His grace He has given a part of that beautiful everything to us.
God continues to be gracious in providing me insight into that realization of sin, and the repentance that (hopefully) follows. At times, I have hesitated even to write at all because I fear myself. But I have come to realize that even this blog can be an agent of humility if I bind it to Him.
-----------------
As the journey continues, two different authors (St. Paul and George MacDonald) provide insight into the mystery of being less than God (a la my sin and confession, corruption of Beauty) and the mystery of being created in God's very image (reflecting Beauty unruined). Here, two quotes:
1) "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation." (St. Paul, Galatians 6:14-16)
2) "'How should a man care for [fame] who knows that he is on his way to join his peers, to be a child with the great ones of the earth, the lovers of the truth, the Doers of the Will? What to him will be the wind of the world he has left behind, a wind that can not arouse the dead, that can only blow about the grave-clothes of the dead as they bury their dead?'
'Tell me then what you write for?'
'...I write because I want to tell something that makes me glad and strong. I want to say it, and so try to say it. Things come to me in gleams and flashes, sometimes in words themselves, and I want to weave them into a melodious, harmonious whole....Creation is God's self-wrought freedom. No, ma'am I do not despise my fellows, but neither do I prize the judgment of more than a few of them. I prize and love themselves, but not their opinions.'"
(George MacDonald, The Elect Lady)
The mystery of salvation and the walk with and for God is this: to boast only in what He has done while reveling in the Beauty He has placed in each of us. Just as a lover crafts a poem for his beloved, intending it for her eyes only, He puts that Beauty in us. Not so we could hold it up and say, 'Look here, world! See what I have done!' but so that we could enjoy it--enjoy Him--and in that pure enjoyment, shine.
The only pride we have is that we are nothing, and He is everything; in His grace He has given a part of that beautiful everything to us.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Bewitched
You foolish [Elizabeth]! Who has bewitched you?
Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you:
Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?
Are you so foolish?
After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?
Have you suffered so much for nothing--if it really was for nothing?
Does God give you His Spirit and work miracles among you because observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
-Galatians 3:1-5
Foolishness is attaining my goal(s) by human effort, by observing the law, by doing things 'just right'.
Wisdom is believing what I've heard--that Jesus was crucified--and receiving the Spirit and miracles as a gift.
My foolishness is human effort, singularly exercised.
His wisdom is supernatural power and works something out of suffering's nothing.
Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you:
Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?
Are you so foolish?
After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?
Have you suffered so much for nothing--if it really was for nothing?
Does God give you His Spirit and work miracles among you because observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
-Galatians 3:1-5
Foolishness is attaining my goal(s) by human effort, by observing the law, by doing things 'just right'.
Wisdom is believing what I've heard--that Jesus was crucified--and receiving the Spirit and miracles as a gift.
My foolishness is human effort, singularly exercised.
His wisdom is supernatural power and works something out of suffering's nothing.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Hos-pi-tal-it-y
Recently, I've been thinking quite a bit about hospitality. My conclusion? Hospitality is one of the--if not THE--most practical expressions of the Good News about Jesus.
-----------------------------
The other day, I was reflecting on the meaning of "Ecclesia" (the name of my church). For whatever reason, I was reflecting on this while listening to/singing the David Crowder song "Come and Listen." Here's the connection:
"Ecclesia" is the English spelling of the Greek word "ekklesia." Ekklesia is based on the root verb kaleo, which has several shades of meaning that all circle around to call. Ekklesia at its roots means called out but in the New Testament has taken on the meaning "assembly" or "gathering." Other words with the kaleo root mean to name, to invite, to summon or to choose.
So, there I was, thinking about kaleo while singing a call--and not just any call, but The Call to come the grace of the Cross:
Come and listen, come to the water's edge, all you who know and fear the Lord.
Come and listen, come to the water's edge all you who are thirsty, come.
Let me tell you what He has done for me.
Let me tell you what He has done for me,
He has done for you,
He has done for us.
Then it hit me: calling, inviting, crying out, summoning, choosing--these are words that God has stamped all over His letter to us. Beyond words, He has extended personally the gracious invitation to Life by becoming flesh, bearing death and defeating the same. And as those who have come, who have entered the grand Celebration, we have been given the significant work of inviting others to join us. What better way to go beyond the words of invitation ('Jesus loves you. Won't you trust Him?') than to actually identify the value of a person and open our doors to him? What better way to demonstrate Jesus' love to her than to extend the offer of participating in a real human-to-human relationship based on commitment, openness and trust?
This is the practicality of hospitality. This is the way that people can see the Author of the good news: when the preaching of the words of Life intersect with the 'inconvenience' of intentionally opening the barred doors of our homes and asking others to join us in that Life.
Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free!
Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.
Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.
-Isaiah 55:1-3
-----------------------------
The other day, I was reflecting on the meaning of "Ecclesia" (the name of my church). For whatever reason, I was reflecting on this while listening to/singing the David Crowder song "Come and Listen." Here's the connection:
"Ecclesia" is the English spelling of the Greek word "ekklesia." Ekklesia is based on the root verb kaleo, which has several shades of meaning that all circle around to call. Ekklesia at its roots means called out but in the New Testament has taken on the meaning "assembly" or "gathering." Other words with the kaleo root mean to name, to invite, to summon or to choose.
So, there I was, thinking about kaleo while singing a call--and not just any call, but The Call to come the grace of the Cross:
Come and listen, come to the water's edge, all you who know and fear the Lord.
Come and listen, come to the water's edge all you who are thirsty, come.
Let me tell you what He has done for me.
Let me tell you what He has done for me,
He has done for you,
He has done for us.
Then it hit me: calling, inviting, crying out, summoning, choosing--these are words that God has stamped all over His letter to us. Beyond words, He has extended personally the gracious invitation to Life by becoming flesh, bearing death and defeating the same. And as those who have come, who have entered the grand Celebration, we have been given the significant work of inviting others to join us. What better way to go beyond the words of invitation ('Jesus loves you. Won't you trust Him?') than to actually identify the value of a person and open our doors to him? What better way to demonstrate Jesus' love to her than to extend the offer of participating in a real human-to-human relationship based on commitment, openness and trust?
This is the practicality of hospitality. This is the way that people can see the Author of the good news: when the preaching of the words of Life intersect with the 'inconvenience' of intentionally opening the barred doors of our homes and asking others to join us in that Life.
Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free!
Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.
Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.
-Isaiah 55:1-3
Sunday, January 9, 2011
a confession.
We're more than a week into the New 2011 Year and I've yet to write a "Happy New Year!", "Reflect on the Past", "Live for the Kingdom" kind of post. And all week, I've been puzzling about my inability to start out the 2011 blog year with a dramatically well-written, unforgettable masterpiece, especially since it is the business of writer-hopefuls to make sure they take advantage of every opportunity to do just that.
Last night, I finally figured out why.
Setting: A gathering of about 250-300 other Jesus followers in the re-made warehouse home to Ecclesia Church.
Situation: We are there to remember and dwell on the One who makes all things new, and to be transformed by Him and His extravagant grace toward us now and in the eternal future. We are singing together about how we want His goodness to bind us like fetters and we are flooded with the gracious Word that reminds us Heaven will overwhelm dying Earth's senses and redeem her.
Suddenly, in dramatic and even grotesque irony, Jesus whispers to me: 'You want to be famous, don't you?'
After a moment's hesitation, I know that I cannot flee His penetrating gaze so I internally agree: 'Yes, I want to be famous.'
-------------------------------
It's true. I can't deny that my pride often has been the rudder steering the ship of my motivation over the past months (years?). When did it happen that my dream of making Jesus famous became my dream of making me famous? I'm not sure. But in the past 24 hours, I have shed many tears of regret, shame and sadness because somehow greatness in the eyes of other people has begun to replace greatness in my Beloved's eyes.
You see, deep down I want to be completely fine with the fact that my life may be lived in total oblivion in comparison to other humans. I want to rejoice only and fully in the deep trust that God sees, and that is all that matters. But there is also the desire to be significant now, to change people and influence nations and build up the Church and raise children that will also be significant and publish and create and be known by people. My selfish ambition is nauseating even to me by this point.
So, I am confessing to you, my small but faithful readership, because I need to be held in check. I need to be reminded of the Gospel--that God's unconditional love extends itself in grace to me no matter what the hell I do or do not do--that my life, because it has been lost and found in Him, is wholly significant--that His fame should be my humble service. Will you be my companions along this narrow Way?
---------------------
Epilogue: Communion's music...
Tasting Forgiveness
by Robbie Seay Band
I'm pleading my innocence here
Exposing my arrogance all the while
Hoping that nobody sees
Especially You
I've yielded to all that has cost me
And thrown to the side what is free
And I'm lying if I say that I've figured it out
But maybe this time
The bread and the wine
Will be more than food on my lips
I'm tasting forgiveness
And drinking of mercy
I feast on redemption
Tasting forgiveness
Last night, I finally figured out why.
Setting: A gathering of about 250-300 other Jesus followers in the re-made warehouse home to Ecclesia Church.
Situation: We are there to remember and dwell on the One who makes all things new, and to be transformed by Him and His extravagant grace toward us now and in the eternal future. We are singing together about how we want His goodness to bind us like fetters and we are flooded with the gracious Word that reminds us Heaven will overwhelm dying Earth's senses and redeem her.
Suddenly, in dramatic and even grotesque irony, Jesus whispers to me: 'You want to be famous, don't you?'
After a moment's hesitation, I know that I cannot flee His penetrating gaze so I internally agree: 'Yes, I want to be famous.'
-------------------------------
It's true. I can't deny that my pride often has been the rudder steering the ship of my motivation over the past months (years?). When did it happen that my dream of making Jesus famous became my dream of making me famous? I'm not sure. But in the past 24 hours, I have shed many tears of regret, shame and sadness because somehow greatness in the eyes of other people has begun to replace greatness in my Beloved's eyes.
You see, deep down I want to be completely fine with the fact that my life may be lived in total oblivion in comparison to other humans. I want to rejoice only and fully in the deep trust that God sees, and that is all that matters. But there is also the desire to be significant now, to change people and influence nations and build up the Church and raise children that will also be significant and publish and create and be known by people. My selfish ambition is nauseating even to me by this point.
So, I am confessing to you, my small but faithful readership, because I need to be held in check. I need to be reminded of the Gospel--that God's unconditional love extends itself in grace to me no matter what the hell I do or do not do--that my life, because it has been lost and found in Him, is wholly significant--that His fame should be my humble service. Will you be my companions along this narrow Way?
---------------------
Epilogue: Communion's music...
Tasting Forgiveness
by Robbie Seay Band
I'm pleading my innocence here
Exposing my arrogance all the while
Hoping that nobody sees
Especially You
I've yielded to all that has cost me
And thrown to the side what is free
And I'm lying if I say that I've figured it out
But maybe this time
The bread and the wine
Will be more than food on my lips
I'm tasting forgiveness
And drinking of mercy
I feast on redemption
Tasting forgiveness
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