How NOT to Get People Involved

Internships are great. They teach you a lot about...well, a lot.

One of the challenges facing me throughout the duration of my internship has been (and is) lassoing student volunteers to help with basic building maintenance, because my workplace is a non-profit that doesn't make enough non-profit to pay a maid service. This challenge is also part of my job description.

My first reaction to the challenge was ignorance. I truly did not know that I was in charge of 'student volunteers,' and that it was my responsibility to recruit them. That problem was solved one day when I was revising a document and realized, while looking at the company's organizational chart, that I am over a nebulous cloud of student volunteers; as in, I am kind of like their boss and they are supposed to report to me.

Ignorance turned into mini-brainstorm; I can motivate people!!! (*eyes light up with possibility)

Four months later, I still only have one student volunteer who regularly helps with various maintenance chores. Let me share my observations with you so that you too can unsuccessfully get people involved in your projects, regardless of the setting.

a) Be nice, and send thoughtful emails encouraging people to think about the opportunities for 'service' that lie before them.

b) Emphasize the word 'commitment' in all of your correspondence and conversations with people who 'volunteer.'

c)Hang the 'volunteer' sign-up list, with the signatures of people who have 'committed,' in a common area with lots of foot traffic so that they will have an obvious reminder of their duties.

d)Post the location(s) of necessary supplies using brightly colored paper.

e) Replace the completely impotent sign-up list with a bigger, brighter duty list in a more prominent location.

f) Post the location(s) of necessary supplies using brightly colored paper, again.

and, most importantly,

g) Write a letter to all potential 'volunteers,' copy it, and physically place a copy in their mailboxes. This letter should direct 'volunteers' to the prominently-placed duty-list and should also include humor.

If you follow this advice, you will most likely NOT get people involved, just like me! Congratulations!

I am currently in the middle of attempting to use guilt as a manipulative technique; if it works I will let you know.

How to Offend a Lot of People at Once:

Make fun of and/or criticize something that a lot of people do, say and/or think.

For example, because of my age and stage of life, I know or know of many newlywed couples. {Newlywed being defined as married less than two years.} I am so happy for these couples! They are to be celebrated and they are to celebrate as they being this part of their earth-journey together. What a great opportunity to show what an equal partnership (with Jesus as its Leader) can look like!

But I have to be honest. I have been increasingly assaulted by thoughts of canceling my facebook account because what are most likely repeated attempts to encourage a spouse come across as:

a) Nauseatingly ridiculous ("My husband just made macaroni and cheese!! He is soooo incredible!!! God is so good!!")
b) Insensitive to single people who want to be married ("God has given me the greatest gift in life: my wife. God is so good!!")
c) Untrue ("My hubby is the best husband in the whole world!!")
d) Pathetic ("My wife can't find her keys; I feel so powerless to help cuz I'm at work and can't do anything about it!! Please pray.")

I could go on. But I won't because I've probably done most of the offending necessary to prove my point.

P.S. The word "hubby" is about the most annoying word in the history of the world. Ever.