I've noticed that a lot of my writing recently, whether here or for
Wild Wisteria, has been reflective of my times at
Ecclesia. Music, sermons, art, and moments of peace in that restful space have been my significant quiet times over the past months. This post is no exception.
1 Corinthians 12 was the source of this week's sermon (we are working through Corinthians as a church right now). In case you don't have the entire Bible memorized,
1 Corinthians 12 is Paul's talk about gifts from the Spirit to believers. Throughout this passage, it's like Paul is trying to break up silly squabbles that the Corinthians have been having: "How come he has the gift of healing? I wanted that one!" "Why does she get to be so good at having people over?" "Why do they get to be the ones up in front all the time?"
"It's not fair!!!"
His basic response to the whining is: Listen, you people are like a body. A body has many parts and each part plays a valuable role in making that body a functioning, viable being. No one part is more important than the other; some parts obviously get more face time than others.
So get over it. And for crying out loud, use your gifts! If you don't, the whole body suffers.
Our pastor challenged believers to a) know what our gifts are, b) stop being ignorant about them and/or c) stop being disobedient by not using them. These are gifts from God, after all. Gifts that, when used, usher in the kingdom in powerful, unstoppable ways. So, as a dutiful church member, I started thinking about the gifts God has given me. Because I've had the privilege to go to seminary, I've already walked through the process of figuring the gifts thing out. Basically, my top three gifts are (in no particular order): faith, teaching and leading.
It's interesting how the Spirit times things. I met a friend for lunch today (her blog is
here), and in the course of our conversation we started talking about women and our place in the body. As she is a new friend, we are still figuring out one another's contexts/stories. We already know that we share a passion for cross-cultural work and ministry. Today we learned that she grew up in a church tradition that has been ordaining women for over four decades; I grew up in a church tradition that still, in general, frowns upon women preaching from the pulpit (female ordination is not even on the radar screen). In the course of our conversation, I said, "You know, one of the reasons I moved overseas and became a 'missionary' after college is that my gifting doesn't have a place in the American evangelical church."
Faith, teaching and leading are great gifts to have, whether you are a man or a woman--many men in church leadership will admit this. The only problem is that in the majority of the *American evangelical church, women are only allowed to fully utilize their leadership and teaching gifts within the context of women's or children's ministries. (N.T. Wright provides a beautiful introduction to why I believe this is not a biblical stance. For a short video of Wright's explanation, click
here.)
I really like kids and have put in my share of babysitting hours, but kids are not naturally drawn to me. It seems that they are automatically programmed to like my dear husband better. I also really love other women, but most women cannot relate to me because I simply do not have much in common with them.
I don't blame them--I have had a bizarre, all-over-the-place, unpredictable life and even before the bizarreness I was (and am) an independent, strong-willed and ambitious person who likes to live outside of anything 'safe.' I also can't relate to lots of women in the American church because I don't have an obvious 'motherly' instinct, my husband and I have a very egalitarian view and practice of marriage, and I do not really enjoy Beth Moore book studies.
So how, exactly, would I use my gifts to build up the church if there was no place for them there?
And here we are: why I moved overseas. In my 21-year old mind, I had not yet figured out my gifts completely, wasn't yet married and didn't really know what to do with myself. But although it certainly wasn't that clear to me then, I knew I'd be able to
be who I was supposed to be if I left the environment that said I couldn't
be that. So I did. And I
was.
Now, several years later, I'm in America faced with similar struggles to those college days. I'll be here for a little while yet, and for the time being can't run to another place to use what He's given me. I know well enough that I can't open my own doors and that all I do is walk through the ones He opens for me. So, I'm praying that He will use the faith, the teaching and the leadership gifts in ways that never point to me, but only to Him--for the encouragement of the church and the worship of my Lover, Jesus.
*The reason I continue to qualify 'church,' is that many local bodies around the world do not have the same views about roles of men/women in the local church.
"Eye" courtesy of sodahead.com
"Women's Ministry" courtesy of wix.com
