A Tasting, #2

Welcome, friends. Come in, sit down and join me for a taste of wine (malbec) and bread (muesli).

So much is going on--serious first, then light-hearted.

1. This man is an absolute terror. And yet, he too is loved by God with the same, rock-solid, deep and intimate love that Jesus showed me so many years ago. My mind is still so oriented towards 'achieving' or 'earning' love that initially, cognitively, I question whether this can really be so. Deep down, I know that if it is not true, then I am just as condemned as he is. How will my thoughts, speech and behavior be changed by the fact that one of the craziest, most hated and ridiculous men on the face of the earth was worth the Son of God dying for?

2. A few thoughts from this past weekend, and excerpts I sent to a friend after:

"For the past couple of months, our church has been going through a season of reflection on heaven. it has been really amazing, because we are just surrounding ourselves with the promise of the way things ought to be and the way they WILL be. Yesterday evening there was a different guy (not our pastor) speaking. He started talking about the yearning that we have deep within us--that kind of intense desire for something Better that CS Lewis writes about--and how, if we let ourselves be affected by what's going on around us (that is, what is broken and twisted and unfair) that longing becomes even more deep so that it surprises us with its intensity. But, he said, that intensity is not just to have but to use. We know that things are not as they should be, therefore we should agitate (that's the word he used) against the way things are because then we get to be a part of Redemption making things as they should be. Endure, because as we endure, we get to taste ever more deeply of the Great Story that will soon envelope us all.

Our church uses The Voice translation (not popularly known yet but i encourage you to check out the website if you can, www.hearthevoice.com). I don't have a physical copy so I can't give you the translation of Hebrews 11:1 that was used. But here it is from The Message:

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.

In The Voice translation, the essence is that the strong conviction that we have in Him--that yearning that betrays our deep-down knowledge--is the certainty of living towards and in the Great Reality of His kingdom: heaven come to earth. So, my prayer for you...is this: that the way things are will only convince you more strongly to fight against the current situation and to fight for the way things should and will be one day."

3. All of the above thoughts lead to another: I am NOT crazy for being an idealist, and for feeling more disappointed than others about the way things are. It is okay--more than okay--to rage against the broken-down, tired and unfair machine.

And, to the lighthearted...

4. What is the appeal of this man? There's the obvious: First, he is British and has a British accent. Second, he is an incredible actor with a breathtaking repertoire. Third, he is incredibly witty and humble. But, there is something beyond the obvious and I think it's called Mysterious.

5. This past weekend, Randall and I got to hang out with a couple of my Saudi students. These two guys are an absolute RIOT. We watched YouTube clips of people drifting their Toyota Corollas in Saudi Arabia, driving on two wheels in their LandCruisers in Saudi Arabia and laughed till we cried watching Russell Peters' ethnic impressions of Arabs (don't go there unless you can take a little profanity). They fixed a traditional Saudi dinner for us (kepsa), which we ate the traditional way: seated on the floor and eating with our right hands. They are a little bit worried that they will catch some slack because of the Saudi guy that was arrested in northern Texas for suspected bomb plotting, but hopefully it won't be too much.

6. If you are ever having a bad day, you should do whatever it takes to find this place:

Then you should go inside and allow your senses to be overwhelmed with what I can only assume to be a literal taste of heaven, much better than any tasting I can offer you here.

Until next time....go in peace.

khongoroo.habibi.amor.dod. lover.

This is a post about the language of love.

This post is dedicated to my husband, Randall.

Normally, I shirk away from being public at all with something that may be perceived as "mushy," "gushy/girly," or otherwise annoying. But today, I give myself an exception because today we have been married for six months.

Six months ago, I woke up (if that's what you can call barely sleeping for only two hours), and I watched our wedding day unfold. It was beautiful. It could not have been better.

My father walked me down the aisle, and I was singing the whole way. I was singing that song about how He loves us, how He's jealous for us, and how His grace is an ocean that we're all sinking in. Randall cried when he saw me, and he kept crying until we had been on stage for a little while. We couldn't stop looking at each other and grinning, even though we were both so tired we could have slept forever.

Suddenly, we were married. And our ship set sail.

Listen, people. Let me tell you about the language of love. Every language has some term of endearment for those who are recipients of affection. Just in the title of this post I've listed Mongolian, Arabic, Spanish, Hebrew and English words for "sweetheart" or "beloved." But the language of love goes far deeper than words we say to each other.

I knew that Randall loved Jesus before we got married. I knew he was cool, smart and that he balanced out my imbalances, smoothed my rough, lifted my low. But I did not know that his language of love was so deep, so pure, so... like Jesus. He is the one who reminds me of Redemption. He is the one who sacrifices daily so that I might be encouraged. He is the one who anchors me in grace and forgiveness. He gives flight to my dreams and doesn't try to rein in my idealistic tendencies. Actually, he doesn't try to rein me in at all. He values me, as I am, pushing me towards the Better Life all the while. He affirms that I am his life-partner, that we share the burdens and joys of life equally. No, he is not perfect. But he is becoming love, just like His Father is Love.

Randall says love better than any language. And I get to spend the rest of my life saying it back.

Deep. Full. Wild.

Deep. Full. Wild.

This is the life that I've been beckoned into. I am utterly astounded as I walk through each day--each hour, really. I am humbled by the grace of opportunities and awed by His exquisite, hand-crafted timing.

While talking with my mother this evening, I started listing the "home" countries of people I spend significant time with every day of my work week: Kazakhstan, Chile, Honduras, America, Mexico, Venezuela, Gabon, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Brazil, Columbia, Libya, and Morocco. Every. Single. Day.

I never wanted or planned to teach English as a second language again. I am tired as hell. I live to see my students smile and feel like a failure when they don't. I fought against Houston with all my soul and might. But tonight, during a bi-weekly three-hour beginning reading class, I almost started crying as I looked out over the classroom and caught a glimpse of the Kingdom of Heaven.

I don't know why I get to do this. But I do know that for the first time in months, I am able to sincerely ask Jesus to use me however He sees fit, and to beg that somehow as His dearly loved daughter, I can imitate that Great Love that gave Himself up for us.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
(-Ephesians 5:1-2)

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
(-Galatians 5:6)

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life....
(-Philippians 2:14-15)

Darkness, you are not welcome here.

It has become my goal to absorb so much Light that darkness has no chance.

As I wrote to a dear friend earlier today, I finally realized that I am completely content to live in Houston right now. Not just live, but be, and dwell. I think the whole meditation on "living sent" has been a big part of that. Since my sweetheart was gone last week I had some good time alone, really reflecting on life here and the absolute potential it has to be extraordinary if I just open my eyes to Today, Right Now.

Light shines that Now is valuable--that Today is eternal.
Light reveals that this moment, too, can be--and has been--redeemed.
Light pierces through the thickest armors--bitterness, anger, insecurity--
and no 'ill-timed' circumstance or unplanned happenstance can escape its rays.

--------------------

I am an idealistic dreamer. As such I tend to live in things as I wish them to be sometime in the future. But living Light demands me to be all here, fully now. Light rewards my present existence with the beauty of reality that is most often obscured by the ugliness of reality's darkness.

Light shines that one smile can turn the tide of a student's whole day.
Light reveals that my eyes communicate caring, and truth.
Light pierces through the walls of gossip and complaint to show a weary soul in need of a soft shoulder.

And the growth of Light? It is boundless! And you, darkness, cannot capture my Light, bottle it up or contain it in any way. Darkness, you are not welcome here.

A Tasting, #1

Every so often I'd like to compose a blog that is something akin to a wine tasting of the thoughts that alternately flit, sit down, sleep and fly through my head. I remember the first time I read a blog by a friend (thanks, simplefelicity :)) who had done something similar: I really enjoyed reading it and felt like I had looked through a window into her personality that I hadn't seen before.

Just as wine comes in many colors, textures and varieties of brightness--each with a unique appeal and value--so I imagine that these thoughts will bring clarity to how my world is composed of unique layers and how I experience the world around me in all its beautiful varieties.

#4:
It started with a political earthquake in Tunisia, then into Egypt (massively); then Yemen and Jordan had similar tremors. I have been utterly fascinated by these events--sometimes more excited, sometimes more cynical and sometimes more prayerful. I see these people visibly displaying what grips them to the core; I see them, collectively, become a movement. Movements? Well, they are a part of human and cultural identity. And more than anything, I want to be a part of the Movement that is the most subversive of all: to lose my life so that it can be found by and in Him.

#3:

Good coffee is irreplaceable. Especially when it is paired with friends old and new. Today, I had a wonderfully crafted latté made by the good folks at Salento Cafe while enjoying stimulating and yet restful conversation with a new friend from work. Suddenly, that coffee, the atmosphere of that cafe and that new friendship didn't make going to the post office and the drugstore the day of the predicted Houston-snowpocalypse seem so terrible.

#2:

I just finished reading The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight. If you have any interest at all in the Bible, I dare you to read Dr. McKnight's book. I double dare you. His synopsis of how people (Christians, particularly) read the Bible and how people should read the Bible is absolutely approachable and compelling. It will make you think, and in my opinion that is always a good thing. I'm not going to tell you about the plot because I'm trying to string you along as much as possible.

#1:

Movies are powerful. A couple of weekends ago, I watched Eat.Pray.Love and The Dilemma. Neither of these movies were particularly good (as is obvious by their rankings on IMDb); however, because they touched on and (somewhat) developed themes that are sensitive issues for me, I found myself entering into the plots a little bit too much. Themes like insecurity, significance, trust, commitment and independence always strike a chord with me, no matter what the medium is. Film has an even more powerful influence because it employs plot, visuals and musical interpretation--all of which are significant symbols of creation in my internal world. I literally had to work through the issues those two half-baked movies brought to the surface, and that is a good thing.

That is all for this "tasting." Viva la revolucion!